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To Helixopolis

by Eli Rector

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1.
Ocean 03:38
2.
This Walk 03:54
This walk to be human Is locked in step With this awkward feeling of senselessness We move among those we love And try our best to be good enough And in these clothes you don’t know the better part of me You don’t know the biggest part of me All I have to do Is turn around Come on and pull me back This has been the hardest part of my past I thought I could change me That it would be so easy With a child-eyed stare I’ve lost you Fallen asleep again Somehow Somewhere there’s a road To bring me to find a home
3.
Tony, should I come visit? Should I come down? Should I come to you To you Tony? I just want to be alone At the end of a cellular phone Wrap me up in an old pickup truck And carry me home I just want to be alone At the end of a cellular phone With a hitch for my boat and a sail so it floats Through the winds of old San Ramon Tony, how are you? I haven’t seen you in while We could see a movie or read a novel From the Emerald City To San Lorenzo I just want to be alone At the end of a cellular phone Wrap me up in an old pickup truck And carry me home Me and you We’re pretty much the same Maybe we’ll drink a beer and play a board game Here, I brought these for you You’ll like them They’re Marlboros We’re just a couple of guys from the West Coast We could see a movie or read a novel From the Emerald City To San Lorenzo
4.
If my car should come today Turn the radio on and let it play Driving through the mountainside Across the icy bridges wide I might pray I might pray That if my body should fall below The floorboards spilling out into the snow Let me lay Let me lay Beneath the stars this starry night They’ll ask down to my eyes “Are you OK?” Breathing up into the clouds I’ll move my lips to make a sound And I will say Love move me And pain help me to find my way The fingertips that run down my spine Are nothing more than the morning vine Opening their flowered sign To signal us in three fourths time Let us love If my car should come today Turn the radio on and let it play
5.
Here I sit In this bar Speaking my language to no one Not me I’m drinking my beer Shoot the birds For what? They’re gonna shoot the birds No one White winged gull By the sea She feeds her girls And keeps them clean Not her She’s from the Earth Shoot the birds For what? They’re gonna shoot the birds No one Some are angry Some are cold Some have come a long way Some have got a way to go Fly away Shoot the birds For what? They’re gonna shoot the birds No one
6.
So as we sail through the currents The winds blow us forward Soon it will end We’ll reach the shore What will we say then To the seagulls And to the whales Upon the rocks we’ll land And on to the Earth we’ll climb Marching toward that garden of white When the journey is over From dying lips do we hear a sigh A soft lamenting to say goodbye All I see is blue
7.
One Eye Open 05:01
The sun shines over the harbor The mist rises into the light Tea boils while windows open Gulls cry out The day has arrived Oh Joy Father is dressing himself in his best suit Mother is smiling while fixing her hair The children are laughing and eating their breakfast People are waking, getting ready for church Oh joy, they’ll pray If you are a bell of the morning Then let me hear your metal sing Because I’ve come a long, long way across the water Let me lay my anchor down I’ve come so far It’s my wide open one One eye wide open This is for all those long, long nights I’ve kept myself alive (2x) Today is the day we all go down to the fair Wave your nighttime banners high into the air A procession of us come, to be the foolish ones We don’t care We’re the children of an angry affair Between love and the memory of What would become of us now?
8.
Rings 03:16
I took myself to the river Just to see if I might float I asked the moon for forgiveness And followed its yellow light I touched my hand into the water And felt a chill run to my spine I could not see my reflection No matter how hard I tried Two of us in union All in tatters Two of us in union What’s the matter? He sang these words: Love comes in waves It rings around the knave (2x) I do
9.
My brave doctor By the way Might you have anything for my yesterdays? Videos of my mistakes play on, on and on and on, on, on and on Before I leave this place I just want one whole day Watching the colors that form on my doorstep Painted by heaven’s high blind-hearted gaze I know that Jesus, when he was still a young man Died on the cross to save ten million slaves Oh love, let them roar But I’m here When my work is done I’ll be satisfied If I just save one Before I close my eyes My brave doctor By the way Might you have anything for these yesterdays? It was a wicked road that brought me here It pulled me and prodded me head over heels I would just like to say I’ve done some things in my life I’m not proud of But oh how the crows they would laugh that away Because over in the glen past the stream by a boulder There lies a glimmer of sympathy When my work is done I’ll be satisfied If I just save one Before I close my eyes
10.
Summer Song 04:15
This is a song for the summer When everything seems so inconsequential When each blade of grass seems so tall While the rest of the world seems so small Wouldn’t you like to feel happy Wouldn’t you like to feel better For a night Just for one night Sounds all around me telling me to do myself in But I won’t listen any more There’s got to be some greater comfort here And I can’t stand for you to see me this way
11.
God's Pocket 05:01
This is all that ever had This is all that was ever given to me Some bit of loose change out of God’t pocket A red light in my way Neatly juxtaposed before the rising sun The handlebars in my hand Completely shorn from the stem I had my discourse Then it rained I had my words cut By this blade Tell me a story I long to know (2x) Tell me something good That I long to hear Make it feel so right Is it gold and white and covered in light just like it was the day that I was born? Will the rivers and roads that fork and bend ever wind their way back again to bear me away And am I still my father’s son? Or have I already been sold My head for a stone I had my discourse Then it rained I had my words cut By this blade This I know It’s you up high and me down low Is that all there is To Love? Then let’s keep dancing And break out the booze We’ll have a ball If that’s all there is
12.
On other planets You can hear transmissions So tune your instruments To the sound of voices Though they speak in tongues You will understand them (2x) Like some rabbits caught in a snare You must free them With one eye open
13.
Body 05:29
Maybe if I pay no mind I might escape It’s a beautiful world It’s a beautiful world, a wonderful world I’d like to see it with you With you My body Take my friend He’s not happy Hold my head Someone hold my hand Softly My body Take my friend Take him from me Need a little love Need a little air to breathe So to speak My body This ache they say It couldn’t be much more Than a way for me to learn my place Through the years I’ve watched My body slip away When every thought’s not my fault What else am I left with Now? But I bet you won’t remember that now My friend

about

Recorded in Portland, OR

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released January 1, 2002

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Eli Rector Palm Desert, California

Behavior Analyst.
(B. 1975, Santa Cruz, CA.)
for demos/errata: soundcloud.com/eli-rector

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